Another night...

Sleeping yet another night alone on Saba. 71 days left... In the darkness of my room with the curtains shut and the lights off and the dog is somewhere hiding asleep, I try to close my eyes. To put the day's events behind me.

Yes I have learned a lot about medicine in the past 16 months but I learned a lot more about people in general. Never have I seen the side of people and their capabilities to manipulate, use, disrespect and hurt you while at the same time I have felt the tender love of some. I have learned a lot but I wish so desperately to learn how to avoid, how to ignore and how to not get hurt.

I want to promise to myself tonight that when I open my eyes tomorrow I shall stop being nice to everyone. Smile only to those who actually deserve to be cherished. Respect only those worthy and those who reciprocate.

I want to try but I must.

AA